Break-ups, Realizations, Miscellania

  • Mar. 12th, 2016 at 4:22 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So, here it is again, another year and some months since the last time I posted. I'm sorry personal blogs, I do not mean to neglect you, but time has a nasty habit of slipping away on me. I do want to kind of start writing at least weekly summaries of what the fuck has been going on in my life. Cause sometimes memory gets a bit spotty, especially when you're stressed. But, I digress.

There's a lot that's happened since the last time I wrote in the blog, so I will focus on the recent past, up until the present.

Let's start with probably the most significant thing. Jessica. I met her through a group of mutual friends that I had met years ago, on tumblr. At first we didn't talk in private, but soon enough during one of our group calls where we answered surveys together, we both dropped hints that we wanted to maybe get to know each other better, and see where it went. We talked for about a week before I asked her out on a skype date, and we watched some movies together. After the movie we stayed up all night talking, and decided that we were officially going to be a couple. I went on vacation with my parents in early October (which I will cover in a separate section), and then right after we got home, I turned around and went and visited her in Oklahoma. The visit went well, and we were pretty head-over-heels in love after that. Things were fine until the end of December, when she went to visit her other partners (the same mutual friends that introduced us, she's poly, and so am I; The catch was she wanted me to be monogamous for her. She could not handle me being with anyone else for some reason. I went along with it, but it seems like a mistake in hindsight). After she got home she was very much withdrawn and depressed. That is okay, it's going to happen sometimes.

But days of no communication turned into weeks, weeks into a couple of month. I knew something was amiss. Turns out a new fella that we all knew, because they were an ex of one of the people that introduced us, had been visiting her the at the beginning of February. She did not mention this to any of us, and although she maintains that she didn't cheat, everything in my being, and her behavior said otherwise. I decided right then and there that neither of us were happy in the situation for whatever reason, and parted ways. It's odd, I was deeply in love with this woman, and when things were starting to go off the rails, and until the very end I was fighting for us. Now that it's been over for a little bit of time, i've processed all of the stuff, and the anger has faded. I'm left with simple confusion over why she felt the need to hide something from me, when the terms of our relationship allowed for what she was doing as long as it was in the open.

Now that I got that out of the way, I mentioned my vacation with my parents. We went to Branson, Missouri. We had a good time at all of the shows we saw, and we all got to spend some good quality time together. My favorite parts of the trip were when I got to go off on my own. The first of those things being to take a trip through the Titanic museum they have there. The outside has a life-size replication of the front however-much of the ship.

Me standing in front of the Titanic Museum, in Branson, Missouri

There's me standing in front of it, just for reference. They had a bunch of artifacts from the actual ship, a lot of replicas and models of the different mechanical things on the ship, and information about all of her passengers. They also had simulations of the inclines that people on the deck would have faced when the ship was sinking, and a bucket full of water cooled to the recorded water temperature the night of the sinking with a clock to challenge yourself to see how long you can keep your hand in there. I was able to keep my hand in there for a minute and a half, which is a long time, but pain sets in about 20 seconds after our body comes into contact with the water. The other cool thing was that I got my first tattoo. It's the letter "O" from the logo for the band Opeth, which they are one of my favorite bands. I chose this as my first one for a few reasons. The design of the letter "O" is ornate, and looks good regardless of whether or not you know the band or not. While it obviously is something I got to symbolize my love for the band, it's also something to symbolize my love for music, and especially metal as a whole.

Here is my tattoo in all it's glory:



So, the last 6 months or so emotionally have been a roller coaster. From soaring highs, to abyssal lows. But, I've come back to baseline, and in the past couple of weeks have been reaching out into the internet to have some new social experiences, and I said what the hey and decided to take the plunge into websites that are specifically for dating. Since I took a little break from one of my 2 main social circles online because of the fact that they were all very intertwined with the person I had just gotten out of a relationship from, I decided to seek out human contact elsewhere. That let me to two places. Reddit and OkCupid. It's getting late so I won't recount the Reddit (a skype group) story here, but let me tell you about OkCupid. I make my profile and in the first hour or so I get a message from a girl who lives a couple hours away from me. At first she seems cool. We have a good chat, and what have you. I go to bed, wake up the next morning to an "I love you" message on my skype. I was extremely uncomfortable with this, and was honest and told her so. She proceeded to flip out on me, and say I was an asshole. I proceeded to block her means of communication with me. To put it tactfully, I just did not see it working out at all. Hopefully I have better luck in the future. There's more to say, but I will post those things tomorrow. Mainly the reddit story, and my realization that I really am polyamorous.

Musing with the Moon

  • May. 21st, 2014 at 4:51 AM
dreadthisday: (pic#7829421)
So, I proffer this update to you all. Things have been a bit well..weird as of late, at least around the house. Mom has been drifting in and out of depressive moods, beating me and my step-father about the head with the whiplash of these aforementioned moods. I am used to them, as they are not a new occurence, but they have increased in frequency and severity. I hear 2 different stories of what occurred when I inquire, and can only imagine the truth lie somewhere in the middle. However, it is frustrating to see two people who I know in the bottom of my heart be unable to comfort one another in their time of need due to whatever reservations are keeping them from each other at this time; the clockwork of this situation is something to which I have only theories, suspicions, and not hard answers. The most recent flare stemming from a camel-back trunk which belonged to my recently late grandmother. It began Sunday, when Gary called brother Steve (a congregant of my parents’, who often provides him with rides when mom doesn’t feel like going to church – usually due to physical pain) before asking if she would like to go to church as well. It’s usually a safe assumption that she does not want to go as of late, so I understand his thought process in proceeding as though she were not going, because it has been her MO as of late. Well, they both ended up going, and coming home together. But she told me that he had offered said trunk up to another congregant whose name I do not recall, without asking her permission, for offer at a garage sale to benefit the church. I didn’t inquire further Sunday evening, and went to bed shrugging it off. I woke up late Monday afternoon, around 4 PM. Gary and I had discussed the evening prior going to see the new Godzilla film, and assumed she would give us a ride. I awoke to find her in a right foul state, begrudgingly giving us cab fare so we could attend the film. She sent me some spiteful text messages, as she often does when she’s in this mood, telling me that if I do not seek employment then i will be kicked out, or have things taken away from me. This is a recurring theme when she gets in a mood like this, knowing full well that I am unable to because of the duties I must fulfill for them. I take this all in stride because I know all of this isn’t really her, it is her pain and hurt speaking untruths in the guise of her person. That’s why I don’t really give any of these outbursts any sense of umbrage, because I know they aren’t her true feelings. Also, I note that sometimes Gary presents signs of psychological regression, almost childlike behavior at times, things that I can only hold his disease and years of alcoholism responsible for, so I equally try and pay them no mind. I know this is probably ramble-y as hell to read, but I must write these things into hard account if only to acknowledge these thoughts, and to cope with them. Back to where we left off in our story though, we attended the film and had an enjoyable time, and it was substantially a good time and the first time since that we have really gotten to go out and do something just the two of us since he fell ill a few years ago. We arrived home and she was still sulking in her bedroom, lights out. She proceeded to send a few more nasty texts, but a couple hours after I was home asked me to retrieve a few things for her in a civil manner. One of the things she was begrudging me in her earlier messages was my sleeping in – I can only guess because she wanted to go visit Donna (a family friend, who was a mutual friend of my grandmother’s and that’s how we were introduced to her was through my grandma, and she had recently had a stroke), and I had tried to accommodate this request before but she said she did not want to go. Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t. Anyways the point was I took the hint from that little cue, popped a couple of Tylenol PM and promptly turned in earlier than I had done the previous week. I awoke and mom was her normal self, much to my relief. Today was a good day, and I must paint this post with that fact - because to do so without including the fact that we have great days too would be dishonest. I woke up around 10, did my daily quests in hearthstone, and after went looking for her. I checked their bedroom at first but Gary told me she was outside. I helped her do a few chores in the garden that she asked me too, and then told me we were going to visit Donna at 3. And we did just that. First stopping at Casey’s for requisite supplies (a cold beverage and some cigarettes for us all). Our visit with Donna went well. She is walking, talking, and doing all of the things she did pre-stroke. So it was good to see her doing so well after being so worried about her. I know it freaked mom out a hell of a lot after losing grandma so recently. We then stopped at mcdonald’s for supper on the way home, which was delicious [I’m a total sucker for their french fries]. I helped her water the plants a little while after dinner, and then I talked to a couple of friends - one on facebook and another on the phone before joining raid. Raid went well for what it was, personally improving on raid awareness and mechanics though my DPS numbers are lacking for some reason. It’s either a trinket i’m missing off of a specific boss (Thok, it’s best in slot for me), or my recent move to gem/reforge to critical strike instead of mastery is sinking my bottom line on damage output, I will have to play around to test some theories on this. But overall we did better on mechanics on heroic immerseus and that’s what really matters because DPS means shit if you can’t stay alive long enough to hit the boss. After raid I played hearthstone again with Peanut and Ang (short for angelus - a nickname for a dear friend who is a big fan of buffy as are most of my friends), and then after they went to bed I played guitar for a bit before pouring a drink and firing up the first episode of NBC’s Dracula which i’ve been wanting to watch for a little bit now, and finally go taround to doing so. 2 Episodes in and i’m enjoying it for what it is and the actors within the series. Before I part this evening I must apologize again for my lack of updates, not only on this blog but my main one as well - I just have not taken the time to put things in my queue for some reason, but I still glance at tumblr every day so feel free to send me an ask whenever if you want to get my attention. I was kind of not feeling like doing much for a while a week or so ago - due to my left ear becoming blocked after a misguided q-tip found it’s way into my inner ear canal, frustratingly temporarily deafening my left ear. I wouldn’t mind it so much if music were mixed in a different manner than it is, but as such when you are deaf in one ear temporarily, permanent, or in some other fashion such as malfunctioning audio equipment in which only one channel works, you can only hear one channel of the multi-layered aural works that you are trying to digest. It is a most frustrating quest in a world of monster riffs and bellowed verses that one can only half-heartedly enjoy. So I pretty much buried myself in re-watching Smallville, and re-formatting my computer and organizing my external hard drive. A digital spring cleaning if you may. Well, I think I have scrawled enough in this digital verbal vomitorium of a blog for one evening.

-I bid adieu for the moment,

Kenny
dreadthisday: (pic#6727889)
So, I guess i'll just dive right in. A lot has happened since I wrote on this blog the last time. The biggest thing that happened was that my grandma (step-grandmother if we're speaking in the strictest of terms), passed away. She had ovarian cancer, and apparently she had the cyst since 2011 but refused treatment for it. So, the majority of my winter was spent going out to the nursing home to see her, helping mom clean out her house and have an estate sale, and then the funeral. I'm not a stranger to losing family, but this is my first time being so close the entire process, and actually being cognitive of what was going on the whole time. When my biological grandmother passed away 13 years ago, mom shielded me from a lot of because she knew I wouldn't be able to handle it, and for that I am now aware of just how much of a good thing that was for me at the time. I am so thankful that I got to spend a little more time this time with my Grandma before she passed on, and that we were here in town to take care of her. I will say that however, selling the house has been an absolute nightmare. The people mom sold to were being real and utter shits. They were grandma's neighbors across the street, and members of my parents' congregation, and people they considered friends. Apparently they had mom sign a paper when she was a) on some medication that affected her judgement and b) when we were trying to deal with grandma's funeral arrangements and the like. So they got mom when she was at her most vulnerable and took advantage of it. I wasn't expecting this to happen, because they always seemed like reasonable people. But, it's pretty much all over and done with as of today, and maybe mom can finally get some closure, and some real relief from the stress that mom puts on herself by worrying so much about everything.

So, the last time I wrote an entry here, it was about the swath of drama that caused me to fuck off from my guild in World of Warcraft of 3 years. I took a bit of time off from the game, and played Hearthstone heavily, and dealt with real life shit that was going on. A few weeks ago, Blizz announced that Siege of Orgrimmar normal / heroic modes were available to be raided cross-realm immediately following the announcement. So, I saw my opportunity to hunt for new guilds, or at least progression for the moment. I queued into a 25m pug that night, and got lucky, seeing a good guild that was looking to do shit but that didn't take itself too seriously, and most importantly recognizes that hey sometimes real life shit happens. I only have my one toon in the guild over there atm cause i'm not paying to server transfer all of my toons over cause that's just way too damn expensive, but I have my main, my death knight, and I have since continued to kick asses and take names with him. I've also as previously mentioned been playing Hearthstone. I got to rank 14 last season before the ranks reset, and am currently at rank 15. Last season I was playing a lot of control pally, and now I'm playing ramp druid. I have been lucky as hell, getting 3 legendaries in the last month. Ysera, Rag, and Leeroy (I just got Leeroy today!!). I am so excite about the Naxxramas adventure mode they are putting in the game soon, and it can't come fast enough!

Other than that I haven't really been doing a whole hell of a lot, except for watching tv/movies on netflix and other places online. I've watched a lot of random shit (sabrina, ax men, etc). But, it is fucking game of thrones season again hooray for that. Season 4 has been absolutely nuts and i'm loving every minute of it. I have been driving a lot more, but just around the park here to get mail, but still it's getting me more comfortable behind the wheel. One of my best friends might come visit me in July. It's something we've been wanting to do for a number of years right now but as you all know situations don't leave me in a good position to be away from here for more than a week. I also took a trip to the casino for funsies with mom a week and a half ago, and that royally fucked my sleep schedule, but I think have that remedied now, hopefully. I'm sure getting drunk for the Game of Thrones premiere didn't help in that regard but fuck it was Jack Daniels and i'm weak when it comes to Jack. It just tastes so good. The hangover was a shitlord, though.

I also did something I never thought i'd do software wise. I switched my music playing software. When I was out at the casino with mom, my skullcandy's finally went out. I had made a comment a week earlier when we were at target (where I bought them), that they'd lasted a long time. Well, fucking jinx man. So, I purchased a new pair. JVCs, a great set of headphones as long as you have a decent equalizer to soften the bass a bit cause the bass in these headphones is powerful as shit, okay. I was using winamp, but now i'm using AIMP3. Overall it seems to be a tiny bit less memory intensive, and as I said the EQ definitely does the trick w/ these new headphones. While we're on the subject of music, things are going to be exciting here in music land for me. The new Lacuna Coil album is out (which I haven't listened to yet because I forgot). Angela Gossow stepped down as the vocalist from Arch Enemy, and was replaced by former The Agonist vocalist Alyssa white-gluzman (sp?). I didn't mind the new single I heard, but i'm really gonna miss Angela. Sure the last couple albums could've been a little better, but she still had an awesome warface and a bestial fucking growl. The new Opeth is coming out in June, I think. I have come around on the "Heritage" record, and I love it now, but i'm still not a giant fan of the guitar tone on it. It's just a little too "warm". The clean vocals don't bother me as i'm a fan of Mikael's cleans just as much as his growls. Seeing them last year was still one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and it really made Katatonia grow on me by leaps and bounds. They have made a spot in my permanent rotation of tunes. Also there are new Tool and Testament albums in production, so we'll have to see if those materialize at all this year or not. Still dreaming about a new Dimmu record, if it's been this long either it's not coming or it's going to fucking steamroll us by how brutal it is.

I think I will go ahead and end this here, but with the intent to blog a bit more regularly. Possibly even once a day. I really do want to write on here more though. For now though, here's the first contribution to that end.

The events of January 31st, 2014

  • Feb. 1st, 2014 at 1:12 PM
dreadthisday: (Default)
Basically, this whole Darren and Jan reached it's conclusion, at least for my involvement in it last night.

Darren, quit the guild on all of his toons yesterday when Jan broke up with him after finding out that he lied about his pictures. His one profile pic on facebook, all the pics he sent. All fake. He ADMITTED THIS.

Made up another lie to cover up the first lie, that he had to have "reconstructive jaw surgery", which was later confirmed by a family member of his who is also in guld as bullshit.

So, with all of this information, and the abscence of pretty much any semblance of order going on, and this being a cycle that's happened in the guild since i've been in it really at least with him gquitting - happens every 1 or 2 months - I figured that although yeah it's about Jan and D's relationship, the guild as a whole deserves to know that they are playing with someone who is a dishonest person.

So meeting goes fine whatever. I can only assume Darren is chatting with people as the meeting's going on or after it's over. Cause basically after the ensuing facebook conversation, I get made out to be on an "anti-darren campaign" and I was like fuck yeah I am. I'm not going to sit here and know that this motherfucker lied to a person he claimed to love for 3 years and not call that into question, i don't care if he's too much of a chickenshit to come defend himself.

Well, after meeting i'm on Skype with Jan and Lou (another guildmate who had my back) and everything was going fine for a while.

Then I noticed jan got reaaaaaaaaaal quiet, but I could hear her typing. I can only assume she was talking to Darren but i got a pretty giant knife of a message in the back.

"What you ultimately did kenny was not only go behind my back and spreading my private business. But you also ruined another person's life. No one deserves that no matter what they do. Darren has done more good than harm. And I know you thought that it was in my best interests or the guild best interest but you are wrong. And even lu said people don't understand the situation. So why include them on a topic they know nothing about? Honestly I'm pissed and hurt. And you became the second person in a row to lose my trust."

So, I really at that point felt utterly and completely done with the whole situation. I told jan that basically I couldn't continue giving her a life saver if she wasn't willing to take it, wished her the best in life, but said that I had to end our friendship there because it was too much for me. I then gquit on all of my characters, deleted mostly everyone from the guild from everywhere.

Tags:

Christmas Shenanigans

  • Dec. 26th, 2013 at 8:03 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So here’s how my christmas went. Spent the morning watching silly shows (fast food mania, finished up river monsters) and played a bit of hearthstone. I helped mom cook, and then we opened presents. I got a Cell phone (which I knew what that was since I picked it out lol), a microSD card for the phone, and a charging station to set the phone and my ipod in by my bed at night. There was an issue with the phone when I opened it, though. They shipped it with the wrong battery, and well that makes it a paperweight for the next 2-4 days, lol. In my stocking I got a giant hershey bar with a snowman on it, a candy cane full of reesey cups, and some scratch tickets which I won 2 bucks on (yay silly thing to buy with $2 - maybe a pack of cards on hearthstone to get the free gold gelbin mekkatorque card). After that we went up to the hospital and visited with my grandma. She’s doing alright, considering, but it was good to see her. I just wish I had been a lil’ more awake when I was there, cause by that time I was kind of out of it. Also a giant ugh to winter cause I was freezing when I woke up this morning and i’m a little congested. Right now I am jamming out and backing up things that are on my external that aren’t vital/too big to do so to the cloud, and then erasing them off my external. I also cleaned up my internal PC hard drive, woot. Just trying to make some room for the massive amounts of hard drive space capping stuff for gifs takes. I am gonna make spaghetti for dinner tonight, I think, and watch the Doctor Who christmas episode, and try and get something in order for my tumblr theme/sidebar cause christmas is over now.

Hypocrite, Lunatic, Fanatic, Heretic

  • Jun. 14th, 2013 at 5:59 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So, since I last saw you guys, it’s been a stable sort of few days. Just been listening to a ton of music really. I finally started sleeping semi-normal lengths of time again, which i’m glad because I am pretty sure lack of sleep was only fueling the mild depression that was spurred by the extractions. I finally also had a semi-normal meal yesterday, and that was the tastiest fucking meal i’ve ever had in my life lol. I feel like mentally in my head and to those who’ve been in the heaviest of contact with me these past 8 days I seem like i’ve been a giant baby lol idk. I know it’s just the frustration with how slow the healing seems (though it’s been objectively pretty damn fast), as my mood improves by the day. I guess the toughest part in all of this has dealing with the awful taste i’ve had in my mouth as a byproduct of all the bodily fluids that come with healing. It’s like being run down by a giant scary creature while you’re strapped to a chair and you can’t escape it, absolutely maddening. No amount of mouthwash, water, etc can cull it from your mouth when it’s in the heaviest stage. Now, it’s not so bad, tolerable even. I definitely won’t lament when it’s completely gone lol. I am really excited for the most part for today. Me, Mom & Gary are all going to Marshalltown (my home town, about 100 miles away). We’re going to go put some flowers on my biological grandmother’s grave (maternal). It’s been a while since we’ve been to see her, so i’m glad that we get to do so. Also i’m getting a Strawberry shake from Maid Rite and some motherfucking burgers and fries. [I couldn’t help but notice how close we are to waukita…../twisterquote]. All in all I guess I can’t be too disappointed in the healing process, it definitely gets better every day, and i’m sure in another week’s time I won’t even notice that I had anything done until I slip my tongue into the wrong spot of my mouth lol (that sounds dirty). I’m going to stop typing now though cause I shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard at this early hour.

The Climb is all there is

  • Jun. 10th, 2013 at 5:37 PM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So, prepare to be quite gobsmacked by the size of this update.


So, the couple of weeks after the concert I kind of went into a space where I shut a lot of people out for a bit because I tend to do that when I’m having a real shit time for some reason. I didn’t really socialize in ventrilo when playing WoW, only really showed up to raids as far as actually playing goes, etc. But I am not too hard on myself about that fact.
I ended up filling up all that free time with stupid reality shows (Kitchen Nightmares, Extreme Couponing, etc), on netflix. It was kind of nice to just shut my brain off mostly, or have a good cry at sappy stuff that happened.

So that basically gets me up to my Wisdom (+ a few other) teeth extraction surgery on the 6th.

I stayed up the night before because I had only woken up at like 9PM and I knew i’d not be able to sleep with the Surgery looming. So time dragged at times in the night, and was way too fast in other parts. We left about 7 or so from here, picked Grandma up, and then mom dropped us off at the office. When we walked in, nobody was in the office yet so we had to wait outside the door for like 5 minutes and I was all nervous that i’d went to the wrong place. An assistant came though and opened the office, and we took our seats in the waiting room. I was actually pretty calm all morning. I think I had just spent so much time worrying about it that I physically couldn’t anymore. Well I watched the “today” show while I waited. It was only about 10 minutes I had to wait to get called back to the room. They took my vitals and then 5 minutes later everyone came back and started hooking me up to stuff. They first slipped the Laughing Gas on me, which didn’t take long at all to work. I forgot what it felt like. It felt like taking 20 shots of liquor in 10 seconds. The last thing I remember was them slipping the needle for the IV in my arm. I awoke an hour and a half later, groggy, and with awful cottonmouth (which was just from the gauze). I was surprised at the lack of pain that I felt when I woke up. The most annoying thing about the first couple hours was the gauze and the bleeding (which was quite profuse), I looked like a vampire. We got my meds and headed home. I don’t remember a whole lot about the very first day after that, except for that I let everyone know that I was okay, and then I passed the hell out, and then talked to Canada, Belle, & Co when I woke up. Days 1-3 were very weird, and I listed in and out of consciousness for the most part. When I was awake I was glued to my iPad doing miscellaneous things (chatting on skype, and facebook, and listening to tunes on Turntable with Tara). Yesterday, a family friend, Jodi (she was my step-dad’s nurse at the nursing home before he came home, and mom’s in home health care nurse after one of her surgeries), stopped by. She went to Casey’s and got them a Sub for dinner and and got me a cold Coca-Cola; which was fucking amazing. We talked about Kathrynn, a girl that was murdered close by, and Jodi’s experience of volunteering to help look for her before they found her body the other day. It was just good to see her cause it had been a while. Last night I finally sat at my computer for the first time since. I watched the finale of Game of Thrones [loved it]. I didn’t sleep in my bed, though. Today I woke up at 11 or so and moved right to the computer. I think it’s good for me to sit at the computer as it promotes a posture that is good for letting my jaw relax and the tissues heal. One thing though that’s a thread throughout the last 4 days is that I started a Doctor Who (2005 series) re-watch. I’m currently at the end of Season 2. I forgot how many feels I had about 9, 10, Rose, Mickey, Jackie, Peter, and all of the pre-11 cast. Just omg lol. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. Still on soft foods atm, hopefully that will change soon, though! :) I am just glad I got this done early in the summer so I can still enjoy from my birthday on hehe. I am going to get my drink on very soon! It’s been like a month or two since i’ve had anything to drink (which isn’t a bad thing imo). All in all May/June has probably been the most important time in my life in a number of years as far as things that happened to myself and not to people around me go. I can’t really think of anything else that I wanna add to this so i’ll end this here!

A ditty.

  • May. 26th, 2013 at 5:23 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
Hey guys, sorry i’ve not posted in a little bit. I’ve just been stuck in my own head and not been posting much at all, even on my tumblr. Just been trying to enjoy my last few days of ~freedom before I go in for this surgery and what not and having crazy anxious feels about the pain i’m going to be in afterward. I also have been sick (like as in common cold sick) so i’ve been dealing with that as well. I promise you guys i’ll update you on what’s been happening this past week or so in the next couple of days and then do another post before I go in for surgery. <3 You guys are all awesome, and though I might not get to interact with the majority of the 4 of you that follow this blog, you all help me get through my day by just being yourselves and letting me into your worlds, whether that be through conversations we have together, or by stuff I see on your blogs.

I am 1000% done with this stuff

  • May. 8th, 2013 at 7:31 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So, i finished up my bottle of Clindamycin on Saturday. Everything has been fine for a little bit now, until last night. I felt the warm sensation in my cheek again, and I freaking knew it was the infection coming back. So, I guess i’ll have to call the drugstore and have them fill another bottle for me and either have it delivered or take a taxi over to the store to get it. All I know is this is like the last thing I want or need right now, because I need to be alright so I can go visit mom in the hospital. Speaking of which - they took the hip out of her right side (it was an artificial joint, of which she’s had 2 on that side, and 4 or 5 surgeries now). They found some areas of infection in her leg which we figured there were anyhow. The plan for her right now is for her to heal up from this surgery and hope the infection clears out and discuss options at a later date in regards to putting another joint in there. For now though, the docs say she should be fine to walk on it in a couple months without a joint. But, as i’ve stated before in my last post i think, if the infection does not clear they will have to amputate her leg. I just am at my wit’s end with all of this stuff at the moment. Thankfully though, right now the pain isn’t near as bad at the beginning of this abscess acting up again (maybe the chipped tooth I have back there had an exposed nerve and it died so that’s why it’s not so painful now?) I just hope by having another bottle ready to go and getting some in me earlier will save me the amount of suffering I went through a couple weeks ago. June 6th cannot come fast enough.

Today Was Good

  • May. 1st, 2013 at 2:17 AM
dreadthisday: (Default)
I woke up about 2-ish, but that was okay. Around 4:30 we all took a trip to Menard’s (it’s a hardware store around here), and we got some supplies for the garden. It was kinda cool being outside today, because it was all overcast and stuff and ready to storm. I love the way that the energy in the air feels when a thunderstorm’s building. Everything feels more epic, especially music! We got some food on the way home, and I got a strawberry shake, and that was pretty damn delicious. Alrighty, now for some of the more awful news. Next tuesday mom has surgery to have her right hip (replacement joint) taken out. If the infection doesn’t clear out soon after they do that, they’ll end up amputating her right leg. So it’s time for me to conquer my fears about driving, I guess, and get my license.

Sorry i've not updated in a few days!!

  • Apr. 28th, 2013 at 3:30 AM
dreadthisday: (pic#6727885)
Just this horrible pain with my teeth was killing the fuck out of me, so I made a trip to the dentist and got Clindamycin (an antibiotic) for the abscess, and that took all the pain and the swelling away and am now pretty much back to normal!! May 21st is my evaluation appointment, and May 30th is my surgery. This has been a crazy emotional roller coaster for me, but it’s needed to be done for a while. I was really just glad to be able to eat a normal meal Friday night (McDonald’s - which was HEAVENLY), and a Pizza tonight (Saturday).

Not bad, Wednesday, not bad at all.

  • Apr. 17th, 2013 at 11:07 PM
dreadthisday: (Default)
So, my day was enjoyable. Nothing too exciting to write home about, but nothing of note either. That whole no news is good news kind of a thing. I slept in kind of late today (1PM), and then I proceeded to get the rest of the LFRs that I could do on my Death Knight out of the way, and Valor Capped him so if I don’t play too much the rest of the week besides raiding, I don’t have to feel so guilty about it. After that it was off to youtube, where I’ve been watching Home Improvement. Someone uploaded pretty much the entire series saves for a couple episodes, and the missing ones I found other copies of on youtube. I’ve compiled them all into playlists separated by seasons so it’s easy to watch, kind of like if it were on…oh say…NETFLIX *hint hint*. Then I ran a couple of heroics on my mage with Sean. By the time I got done with that it was like 4:30 and I had no idea what time mom and gary were leaving for church so I stopped playing wow and went back to watching Home Improvement. After they left, I reformatted the computer cause it’d been kind of laggy and just needed a good kick in the ass, and hadn’t been formatted in six months or so, so the OS rot was setting in. Then we raided Mogu’Shan Vaults tonight for shits and giggles. Got my monk in on a couple of bosses woohoo!!! They brought Mcdonald’s home for dinner after church :). I do love their fries mmm. I’ve been kind of craving a milkshake lately for some reason. I think tomorrow, though, i’m going to order me some of that new crazy cheesy crust stuff from Pizza Hut. As for the rest of my evening, well I think it’ll consist of re-installing software, and probably giffing a little bit, until Vicky gets home, then Skype with her til’ sleep if she gets home before I get tired (or she isn’t already asleep and I just don’t know it yet).